first eleven magazine* 11:45 am on Saturday, May 31 2008

Created in association with The Good Schools Guide this relatively new magazine is brilliant, and the third edition is out now. I am fortunate enough to feature in it.

I have particpated in a piece that investigates if and how we might be able to best protect children from eating disorders. It questions whether there is a link between boarding school life and anorexia, and how seriously schools take eating disorders.

As you will often hear me say, there are no guarantees, there is no such thing as itll never happen to me for any of us. There is however, the best possible way of avoiding difficulty, and the best possible ways of treating troubles when they arise.

To quote another segment of the speech I gave

It is inevitable [that for some of you] eating disorders have already caused despair desperation and pain. Some of you - perhaps personally or perhaps second hand will have had your lives turned upside down by, for example, anorexia or bulimia**. Eating disorders, when they are swept under the carpet or denied, can lead to disaster. But if we speak out, voice our experiences, share them, free ourselves from the binds of shame and fear and guilt and blame and stereotyping, then we can, together, make a difference. I was once told I was a hopeless case. But here I am, today. Together, we can beat eating disorders.

* www.elevenmagazine.co.uk

** let us not overlook the fact that anorexia and bulimia are not the only eating disorders - and there are many more, serious, difficult, and equally as important to acknowledge and get treatment for.

so whats it all about? 12:54 am on Thursday, May 29 2008

To borrow the words of another I, Al - and Springback, my creation - are all about the following. Thanks to George Bernard Shaw, for finding us the words

Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

Before handing it on, yes. But WHILST handing it on, also.

extract 12:27 am on Tuesday, May 20 2008

I recently blogged about a speech I gave not so long ago. Anon, I will publish it in its entirety somewhere on this site. Or on the new springback website as and when it emerges (bear with us, reader!)

In the meantime, it seems worthwhile to offer you some extracts, in no particular order. Here is one for tonight. I hope it will give you something. If nothing else please know that when I write it is always from the heart.

Eating disorder sufferers are not failures. Their families are not failures. And nor are their friends. Effective treatment is not about finding a door at which to lay blame, or finding a way to smooth over the problem and pretending it doesn't exist. It is not about will power or discipline. Nor is it about compliance or regimentation. Life in the real world, and life in recovery, is about finding the will to live a lasting and fulfilling life, about accepting failure and forgiving mistakes, and is about listening to other people and learning to trust, and learning to ask for help. Life is not about being perfect, it is about doing the best we possibly can and accepting the imperfections and mistakes that we make, learning to live life on lifes terms, and living it well. Life is not about the size of our waist or what passes through our lips. It is not about our silhouette or profile. It is about living according to what your heart believes in, and all of us learning to believe in ourselves.

follow the moon 11:59 pm on Monday, May 19 2008

As I left this evening, the moon was a great big peach in a denim sky. I followed the moon, all the way home. As I drove, I was lit by street lights, house lights, roadwork flashing lights, and I was lit by the moon.

As I got closer to the cottage, the night sky moved from deep indigo, to navy, to blackness. And the moon went from orange, to yellow, to silver. And as it got darker around me, within me I was illuminated by a glow of warmth and peace. Just for today. Just for tonight, within me my spirit soared as I drove through the darkness and into the wide open space where I live.

I looked out into the sky from my garden, and the moon still shone above me, but it was supported and enhanced by a million shining stars.

What a big bright beautiful world we have. Darkness does not come with sunset, light is not only something we can have in the day. Sunshine comes from within us, as well as from the people around us, and the space in which we stand.

buttercups and daisies 12:13 am on Wednesday, May 14 2008

As we walked through the fields yesterday evening, Billy and I, I watched the pup bounding in and out of long grass and buttercups. It was a beautiful sight. Happy dog. Happy Al. Happy walking.

I spent most of this last weekend in the garden. Weeding, planting, pruning, mowing. One of the many intruders into the flower beds are the buttercups. I dig them out with vengeance, making way for the shrubs and flowers and veggies that I nurture. Out in the fields, the buttercups were however, a beautiful and welcome sight.

As I walked I pondered. Weeds are nothing more than plants that are growing in the wrong place (I don't want you in my garden but I love the fact that you enhance the meadow with your shining light). Its much the same with feelings. There is no wrong or bad feeling to feel, not even the negative ones we need them. Fear can be a weed at times, but it has its place too. In the richness of life, fear and insecurity and doubt and hurt can cause pain. But so too can they serve us, when they are in their rightful place.

Without fear, how would we step back from danger. Without insecurity of a kind, how would we steer away from arrogance. Without doubt, how would we learn. Without hurt and pain, how would we ever appreciate what peace and joy felt like

It is not about wrong and right. It depends on where you are, where you are walking, and what will keep you safe.

jimmy 11:58 pm on Tuesday, May 13 2008

May your soul rest in peace and your spirit shine on in those who knew and loved you. I did not ever have the priviledge of knowing you, and so many more people who you may have gone on to touch the lives of have lost that opportunity too.

There is no rhyme or reason to Saturdays devastating turn of events, but Jimmy Mizen the world was lucky to have you here briefly and the world will miss you and grieve your loss.

My thoughts and sorrow and sympathy are with the Mizen family - who appear to be an example to us all.

sea (e)scape 12:19 pm on Friday, May 9 2008

For two hours I wandered slowly, barefoot, with Billy, and I danced with him and climbed sand dunes with him and lay down at the summit.

The colours in the sky, the light, the sunset, were magical. Creation blows my mind. The world is awesome.

Every time I visit that corner of our world I feel free and inspired. Worries and woes get shelved for a while. I feel humbled and energised. Weariness lessens.

And I feel peaceful. I feel alive.

the haze of addiction 11:04 pm on Tuesday, May 6 2008

What an absolutely hideous mess.

It seems to be accepted that rich rock stars take drugs. But rich rock stars who take drugs die. The words of the father of a rich rock star drug addict. Tonights documentary was poignant and sad and painful. No matter what my or your or anyones opinion of Amy Winehouse or Blake Civil Fielders words or actions may be, my greatest fear and dread and suspicion is that the news that no one ever wants to hear about another human being may be prematurely on the cards.

That said, my belief in the miracle of recovery, and that the unexpected is by no means impossible, makes me hope and pray to goodness that one day the demons might be replaced by something better.

But it won't be easy, thats for sure.

the loveliness 2:59 pm on Thursday, May 1 2008

Nobody knew what it WAS - or where it had COME FROM - but such was its POWER that it leaked and seeped from person to person until the WHOLE WORLD was infected by its BEAUTY

Thanks to Edward Monkton for this Interesting Thought Mays page of my calender.