double AA 12:59 am on Saturday, March 31 2007

and I am not talking batteries.

I bought this cottage from another A. Another Alex to be exact.

Shes a good friend and I see her often. She listened to me and heard my woes this morning re the flood. This avo she called by for tea and sympathy.

This evening, she rang. She had a flood too (the only difference was hers was a radiator that ruined the carpets, mine was a washing machine that wreaked havoc in other areas). So I flooded. Alone. Shortly I found out I was not alone.

A, plus Other Half came over this evening. To help me out. What stars, great pals, we banter and bicker, share a bizarre number of overlaps and coincidences, and have a good laugh. And what did OH say as he stepped into my flood zone (escaping from his own)

In my next life I want nothing to do with anyone by the name of (guess!)

Gnight from one A outta double AA (aka double trouble)

kitchen sink drama 12:22 pm on Friday, March 30 2007

As they left this morning having spent several hours helping me to mop up the mess, their parting words were thus:

Never mind, worse things happen at sea

They do? At least on a boat you don't have to get your feet wet. Unlike the way it was around here this morning when I came downstairs to 3 inches of water.

Theres trouble in paradise.. and today I am not smiling.

community 10:59 pm on Wednesday, March 28 2007

I popped out for 5 minutes towards the end of the day, and headed for the post office to pay the car tax. Nothing to look forward to about that.

On the way I bumped into them who I met at the weekend and we chatted for a few minutes and recounted sundays music and laughter. On then to complete the task in hand. Then I remembered that I owed the florist some money so I popped in briefly and finally left as the shop was shutting, 40 minutes later, ever the richer from Annas glorious yarns. Homeward bound, I saw the artist/postie who lives at No 1, across his garden fence, and that was the next hour taken care of I went in, admired previews of some of his latest artwork, was handed an invite to next weeks launch of said piece, toured the veg patch, sat at the kitchen table and talked some more.

And then I wandered back to the cottage. Village life, eh. They say if you want to settle in, turn up at the local church, or the local pub(s). I've done both. Not to mention the P.O. and the flower shop They tell no word of a lie.

bus ride 2:36 pm on Tuesday, March 27 2007

OAPs 1 2 and 3 sat at the back with their bags of shopping, gossip and giggles.

Yours truly, a good 50 years younger, sat quietly doing her knitting, and soaking up the scenery.

Once again, reality was challenging a stereotype. Which can't be such a bad thing.

question 2:24 pm on Tuesday, March 27 2007

How do you feel?

- I don't know.

How does that feel?

- I don't know.

Please know.

Somwhere inside there is a feeling. I don't know is not a feeling. Always there is a feeling. Prod around a bit, try to find it. Or them. Or some of them.

Managing feelings starts with identifying them. Which is where some people choose (yes, it IS a choice!) to come unstuck.

argument 11:42 pm on Tuesday, March 27 2007

I painted a picture tonight. It went a bit wrong.

Stubborn little person within is stamping her feet. But doesn't (though endeavours to) drown out the voice of the Alternative Perspective.

AP tells me, practice makes perfect.

life 1:16 am on Saturday, March 24 2007

No matter how we live, sometimes in life there is real sadness. It is all a part of the way things are, the way life is.

Sadness, joy, tears and laughter. All parts of the rich tapestry. And through the ups and the downs, we live, we learn and we grow.

childish 11:00 pm on Wednesday, March 21 2007

On my traipse through open space, I came upon a bridge. The most perfect place for a game of pooh sticks.

I may be a grown-up, but that does not mean I can not be a child when I choose. Even if we never return to childhood or escape the responsibilities of adulthood, that does not mean that the simple pleasures should ever be lost.

The simple stuff is the best stuff. We can learn so much from the innocence of youth. And carry it into the rest of our lives.

return 10:53 pm on Wednesday, March 21 2007

I went back to the lake today. Far in the distance, a couple of fields away, the same person who had passed by my cottage earlier, was out with her dog. At the lake there was a lone angler. And the swan. And his buddy.

These two feathered friends came up to the edge of the water to where I stood, and in silence we exchanged our respect for one another.

I rambled through fields, and in one direction the sky was black, but looking the other way it was blue and bright, and I followed the sun. I walked up the hill, I ran back down it. The stream was muddy but so tempting too. I wanted to put a foot in the water. In that moment my mind drew a blank as to which one of my boots was the one with the hole in. Well, there was a 50% chance Id win the gamble (glass half full and all that)

The other 50% reigned supreme.

by gordon 10:44 pm on Wednesday, March 21 2007

From what I can gather - and I am not entirely clued up and I may have this wrong - I am not best pleased about the budget. If what I understand is correct, and we small businesss are going to have to pay out more tax, then We are not amused.

Seems to me that so much so-called budgeting boils down to pinching from Paul, to pay Peter.

Not impressed.

caught out 6:47 pm on Tuesday, March 20 2007

I was telling a friend earlier, about my disaster last night. I dropped my mobile phone in the bath. Poor me, I can't manage without it, it is a springback lifeline and I hope it gets well.

Then said friend reminded me of something. A couple of weeks ago, I had (jovially) rebuked him for the fact that he took his mobile everywhere - including into the bathroom. Ridiculous, not right, such ocassions should surely be free of the binds of a mobile.

So, how come my mobi ended up in the bath last night. Did it walk? I don't think so. Okay, hands up, point taken.

swan lake 6:40 pm on Tuesday, March 20 2007

Its cold this week. In case you hadn't noticed. There is a bitter wind blowing. I've been working at home today, sitting in front of this screen all day, getting things sorted out and ticking a few things off the list, but none the less ending up feeling very stale and creaky.

Well I hadn't had any fresh air for 24 hours. So of course there were cobwebs gathering on my brain.

Wellington boots on, scarf and mittens, I slammed the door behind me and set off. Over the road from the cottage is a derelict Mill building. I love it. It is shambolic but it would be so sad if they pulled it down. Cant it be converted into something magnificent as once it will have been? I skirted around the mill and over a stile and set off for a stomp. It was boggy, blustery, and beautiful. I followed the path along the stream and through the fields and I came to a lake. Randomly sitting in the middle of a field. A lake, with one lonely swan. It was a sight that touched me somewhere deep inside. It felt like I was looking in on another world, a world where there are no people, there is no conflict, no noise, no rush, there is just creation in its simplest form, untouched, unspoilt, tranquil.

I paused from time to time to turn 360 degrees and see where I stood. I ran from time to time (well, if you can call it running when you are wearing boots with a hole in the bottom, and are wading through claggy mud and along slippy paths. Perhaps stumbled is a better description.) and I looked, and I looked, and I absorbed myself in the moment. I felt alive. The cobwebs fell to the ground.

After a while I turned back to head home. The sun was low on the horizon and it was time to return. Now I am home, and I feel better than before I ventured out. And I know now, that just a few footsteps away is a space where I can find peace, space, inspiration and return to my Swans Lake.

bucket of love 12:06 am on Monday, March 19 2007

Love can be expressed in many and varied ways. By its very nature there are no rules or conditions.

Happy Mothering Sunday Mum. I said it with a bucket (presentation was original, if not a little unusual) of tulips.

Joshua said it by making his appearance into the world at 2.30 this morning. His arrival was difficult. But nonetheless he brings B the greatest gift of all - this Mothering Sunday, she became a mother.

Welcome Joshua. And Happy Mothers Day, B, congratulations on your bucket-full of love. Another day, another miracle. Wow.

green 11:50 am on Thursday, March 15 2007

In a throwaway society where I am a part of the consumer masses, I do try to do my small part to help look after the planet. I recycle plastic glass paper tin and fabric. I compost fruit veg and garden waste. I am consciously making increasing efforts to be more eco-friendly. Our world deserves our respect - and the added bonus is the more you give, the more you get back hence the term recycling!

The last mail shot for springback was greener than previously. Not only in colour. In all honestly it was not specifically an eco-choice, it was a practical decision, that a postcard would be more effective than pages wrapped up in an envelope, it would date more slowly, get noticed more quickly, deliver its message more succinctly. I hope that is does all of these things. But whatever the effect, if nothing else, at least it cost less trees.

hiccups 9:52 am on Tuesday, March 13 2007

The car has got hiccups. Ever since a certain retailers dodgy petrol filled the tank I have not had a happy set of wheels. So this morning we are off to the garage - again - to see if it can get sorted once and for all.

Its the little interruptions like this which seem to be responsible for the fact that every time I think I am going to have an undisturbed day of catching up on all the things that springback needs to catch up on, the plan goes awol.

Oh well. Rather be too busy than too quiet. Silence sounds a far louder warning bell than busy-ness, and even if I am running late, it is not impossible (heres hoping anyway) to make up the time in the end. And it is a cue to refer to the content of the last post - and to remember that even doing our best, things still slip (or hic) up, and thats okay.

hic,

do-it-yourself 4:06 pm on Tuesday, March 13 2007

It is a wise choice, to leave my car in the expert hands to get fixed. Even with a step by step manual by my side, I would be crazy to go under the bonnet, to try to fix whatever it is that has broken down.

Some things however, are d-i-y jobs. Some crafts are entirely unique. Indeed you start with learning a bit of the theory - although to get a result it is important to get started on the practical. The initial results may be rickety, slightly rough around the edges, a bit disappointing, but undeniably there is some small sense of acheivement. With practice it gets easier, more fun, more rewarding, more reliable.. more and more people share your delight, and you grow in confidence and find your niche.

Recovery is a process of d-i-y.

best effort 11:35 pm on Wednesday, March 7 2007

Do your best. That is always good enough. If people don't like it, let them not like it. But know and respect, that you have done your best.

There is always something more out there. There are inevitably critics. That is not important.

What is important, I believe, is To thine own self, be true. So I have come to learn - and re-learn - almost daily.

rephrasing 1:32 am on Wednesday, March 7 2007

to put it another way (my last post that is) it wouldn't hurt to treat everyone more as equals. Offer the same compassion, irrespective of background, or reputation. Some pains are felt just as sharply, no matter who you are, where you come from, or how you are portrayed (or displayed). And as such all those who display the same symptoms more than likely require the same care.

Care. Not judgement.

the blame game 4:20 pm on Monday, March 5 2007

Skeletal celebrities, emaciated role models. the debate and discussion goes on. and on, as these individuals are shot down as dreadful examples who are responsible for the problems of eating disorders in wider society.

Something that tends to get forgotten is this - that with so many of the above mentioned people wasting away or living on thin air, there is the proof that riches and fame do not buy happiness, do not buy health, and do not immunise against illness of body, mind and spirit.

We are all human. None of us are perfect. Not even the celebrities.